And before I begin let me qualify my thoughts as I am a Cancerian and emotionally-driven person who cries when she's happy, cries when she's said and many times feels first and thinks second.
Don't make sensitivity a weapon.
I'm all for explaining to people that you may potentially be thin-skinned and making requests to consider your heart before entering into a potentially combustible dialogue. At all times we should take into consideration how our thoughts and expressions of them may make others feel. A defensive maneuver will almost always beget a defensive maneuver. It's the fundamental rule to conflict. You hit me, it hurts. I hit back, you hurt and the dance escalates until two people are saying or doing regrettable things. Rather than using your sensitivity as a license to kill, use it as a means to find more productive ways to speak with love. Rather than letting your sensitivity give you an unrealistic sense of entitlement and petulant expectation, try and commit to the notion that it always takes two parties to create a disagreeable relationship conflict. You are hurt...in some ways big or small, they are likely hurting, too.
Don't make sensitivity a wall to constructive criticism.
There comes a time in every adult's life when you have to suck it up and face tough talk. Especially when the tough talk potentially saves you from a choice, an action or measure that could have long-term or especially painful consequences. While I am sensitive, I expect and almost demand that the people I love, give it to me straight, particularly when I screw something up. Because I am human. I am going to do that. And yes, you can give straight talk without pulling out the clubs and knives. So keep in mind that sometimes when people speak sternly to you, it is more important to identify the value in their statement...especially when you know behind the annoyance that statement is coming from a place of love. It's nice to hear only about the wonderful things we do; but it's better to hear about the ways we can grow and elevate to keep amazing ourselves and others. Never use your 'sensitivity' as a means to avoid owning your stuff.
And you know how I feel about owning your stuff.
Hey there friends. Yes, it's that time of year again. The time when I post photos of my clay babies and announce I'm selling them on the innurnets.
I try to limit how often I do these updates here, especially since I have a pottery blog that I use neglect for those purposes. But I did want to share my progress with you because I figured you'd like to see them I could use the supplemental income.
I've graduated to lids, casserole dishes and bigger bowls and plates. We're moving on up.
To ooh and ahh, see below. To shop, you can find me here.
Go forth and fill your libraries with media.
Seriously, thanks to everyone for being so amazing and patient. You are the reason I love Vox.
I'm telling you. I need to sleep. I slept for a couple hours this morning, a couple hours this afternoon, but I always end up waking up - on my own no less, a couple hours after I go to sleep. Does my doctor do anything? Not really. He tells me to make my bedroom allergen free (hello? I live in a 2 bedroom house w/ 2 roommates. I don't have my own room thanks), change my diet, and get more exercise and I'll sleep better. I've already tried all of those and no dice. So now I sit here wondering how to get myself to go to sleep and stay that way. *sigh* I mean, after all, it's not like eating right and using the dip machine at the gym has ever done any good towards getting me to go to sleep and stay that way. So now to figure out something else since my doctor is vehemently opposed to even attempting Lunesta or any of the other prescription or even OTC sleep aids. *sigh*
When we quit thinking primarily about ourselves and our own self-preservation, we undergo a truly heroic transformation of consciousness. - Joseph Campbell
This summer, I accepted a co-executive director position with a arts-based non-profit. Before you go throwing confetti in my face, let me first clarify some things.
I still have my previous position with my current employer.
This position feeds my soul and not my wallet.
Now, proceed with the confetti. *dons protective garb*
Today, I visited an African American museum and cultural center here in Austin, TX to speak with their director about bringing our two missions together. It went swimmingly. As soon as I have more details firmed you'll be hearing a lot more about this next project but for now I just have to tell you...
The minute I left my meeting today, I remembered everything I have loved about community engagement. I was energized, alive, empowered and nearly intoxicated off of the joy of knowing we might just play a positive part in the development and artistic awareness of under-served children. It reminded me as I raced home on a brilliantly crisp fall morning in Austin, there is no greater satisfaction than the service we can offer to others. No matter how big or small.
It also reminded me just how much joy is a state of mind. A perspective. A lens. It cannot be found in wealth or things. But it can be found in giving of yourself for reasons that don't have a thing to do...with you.
You can sooooo tell that Halloween is upon us. Horror movies abound, (ever notice that if you have a bathtub or shower scene in a horror movie, they never use those walk in tubs - maybe it's because they don't use old people for it LOL), and shows like Ghost Hunters & Ghost Adventures do live, interactive, or both, shows for the holiday. AMC has their Fear Fest going on - although some of the movies we've seen on there have been bloody stupid! (Blood of Dracula? May have been scary when it was made, as with The She-Creature, but now? GHASTLY and not in a good way!)
But Halloween is tomorrow and what stinks is, well, after tomorrow night, all the fun stuff is gone and everyone will be worried about Thanksgiving & Christmas. Yay. Halloween is so much fun, but you know, it'll all be over in just 1 day and 3-6 hours depending on your time zone. ;) *sigh* Another Halloween almost gone. :(
Seriously. I am in one of THOSE moods today. It's been dreary and rainy all day. The rain went away for a couple of days, but came right back. Now I'm listening to it rain outside and wondering if it's going to stop before Halloween. In one way, I hope not, because then we get to eat the candy ourselves. ;) We won't turn on our porch light if its raining because we know no one will be out. You just don't Trick or Treat in IOWA if the weather isn't good.
We have a store down the street from us that sells Mopar performance parts - they're supposed to have some big car show on Saturday afternoon, with the show getting over in time for trick or treating. I doubt it will happen if it's raining though. No one will want to take their mechanical babies out into the rain. Might spot up their paint jobs you know?
I was just told that the Amazon Conduit will be fixed by tomorrow. I will post here as soon as I get word that it's back up and running.
I know this has been frustrating and I am sorry there wasn't more I could do to make it less so. I really appreciate your patience though.
Cheers,
- As lovely and empowering as thoughts are...thinking less from time to time lets something else...something spiritually powerful, in.
- There is incredible strength to found in vulnerability, but to experience it - you have to have the courage to accept your own weakness.
- People who truly love you will want to support you - but it's still up to you to tell them what you need. We truly do get by with a little help from our friends.
- The biggest truths are usually stated in ten words or less.
- No one can wrestle that truth from you - except of course...you.
This year has been hard. So hard in ways I don't always put in this space. Not just for me but for many around me...which makes it even more arduous. Despite this, I'm beginning to understand how much beauty there is in struggle. Not during the moments of anxiety but during those breaks in the action when you connect, when you love and you remember that you are loved in return. The tenderness you sometimes take for granted becomes the armor you use to fight another day.
Last week, the only place I could find some peace was under the spray of water in my shower stall. I stood there, longer than I normally would, letting hot water mingle with frustrated tears. Perhaps it was because my bathroom felt especially snug and warm; its enclosed space reminding me of a safety I haven't felt in what is now nearly three years. Maybe it was the healing power of water and the sound of it's falling giving me temporary privacy. Perhaps it was because my physical nudity made every part of me feel stripped. Whatever it was, in that moment I could admit in that shower that I was beaten. Physically, mentally and emotionally. Afraid. Faithless. Struggling to make a path to connect with a source of clarity that I usually keep tabs on. I spoke the words aloud..."I need help because I am so lost."
By the time I got out of the shower I was shriveled and shivery...but emptied of the contents making my belly a never-ending stew. As I crawled into bed and said prayers to whatever spiritual power you wish to call it, I made it clear that I understood that none of this stuff was going to magically be resolved by the might of my own hand or the might of my intellect or even my wayward ego. I was going to require some signs and assistance. Some spiritual intervention. And I had every intention on shutting up with my antics until it was revealed to me.
Revelations don't come with a trumpet blare or call for attention. They slip in quietly and wait to be acknowledged. Thankfully, they're willing to hang around until you extract your head from your tail so that you may see them.
Tonight, I rest well with clarity. I know I am loved. I know I have been loved. know that I am safe, even when flying blind. And I can find the beauty in all things big and small. Life can be good.
...Even when it's choking the crap out of you.
I do a lot of writing. Whether it be working on one of my stories that I like to write, an article for Associated Content, blogging, or whatever, I do a lot of writing. I spend a decent amount of my time on my blogs, writing about everything from dental discounts to car insurance. I seriously write about anything. I have written about things that I've literally had to look up the subject so I could actually write an article and know what I was talking about.
What interests me is that people like to slam those of us who write for anyone who pays us. They're more than willing to go to HubPages, eHow, and Associated Content, read the articles and use what they've read, but they'll slam the people who actually do the writing of those articles. Utterly amazing.